This time last year I was being wheeld in to surgery to have my right breast removed. I went in to the hospital with a smile as I was so ready to get the cancer out of my body. I had this cheerfulness that confused people but was necessary for me to make it. However when I saw the nurse and we started walking back to the room where I would be prepped a feeling came over me …it was fear I was so scared and at that moment all my feelings errupted and tears streamed down my face. I was losing my breast… How would I look; would I still feel feminine; how much will it hurt and a list of other question filled my mind. My nurse touched my shoulder and said hey are you scared I could only shake my head. She hugged me and told me it would be okay. This was the first time I had ever been completely under anesthesia. I woke up and it was gone I never was really big on having breast (had been in the itty bitty titty committee for a long time) once I had my daughter I was blessed with a little more. I fed my child with my breast I filled out dresses and cute tops with my breast what was I going to do with one boob. I wondered would I still be considered sexy. After time went by I and by exposing my self to images of people or things that represented one side being gone I was able to accept that which I could not change. I made jokes and I still do make jokes about having one boobie it among other things helps me cope.
Today I can walk around my house topless I wear bathing suits and fill in my fake boob and carry on like I have too. I would be wrong to say I dont miss it but it tried to take my life and (in my best Kevin Hart voice ) some body had to go.
How did u you cope with a major change in your life? I would love to read all about it.