So I asked God why me? This wasnt the woe is me why me… This was what am I supposed to do with what is happening to me. This is bigger than just me. I wanted to know how this journey would help others.
My daughter and I wrote a children’s book. This book is about a cancer Journey but from my daughters perspective. She was 6 when I was diagnosed I had no idea how she would handle things …I honestly had no idea how I was going to handle this. This story highlights how we went about discussing cancer. Our book can be found on Amazon hope you enjoy another way to join us on this pink road.
A few days ago…. (2/16/18) as I sit waiting to get my monthly shot I over hear (Im nosey okay lol) a young lady say she is comming for her first treatment. She was asked if she had any questions and she had none just said that she was nervous…. I wanted to cry I remember feeling nervous but I had my mom with me. I had my tribe with me praying for me. Where was her tribe? Does anyone know she is going through this? As she got up to go check in for her infusion I jumped up “Hey its going to be okay ” she looked at me strange. I shared that I remember my first treatment and that she will be okay. She smiled and said thanks. I sat back down and tears formed in my eyes I remember like it was yesterday… I was so afaid because I wasnt aware of what would happen. Would it hurt? How sick would this make me feel? Can I do this? I pray this young lady doesnt go through this alone she looked so surprised that I even spoke to her. I even huged her. I didnt want to be
intrusive well more intrusive by asking for her number. I really jumped out my seat and spoke out of the blue… I just wanted to send love her way.
We all need a tribe….our very own SURVIVE TRIBE. Where sending love is what we do. To help provide a touch of love and a reminder that you are not alone you have a whole tribe behind you. We are here! We fight We thrive !WE are Your TRIBE❤
Thanks to facebook Im able to relive a moment in time. It hardly feels like a year has gone buy. I really did it! 16 rounds of chemo and one of them was called the red devil yikes. It is so surreal I was balled no eye lashes or brows this time last year. Cancer taughter me alot during this time. The importance of positivity, health,patenting,prayer,and friendship. 16 rounds in my chest of something that could have taken my life. I thank God for strategic placement to help me learn and live.
Im typing this as I wait on hold for the cancer center. I decided to type to help me remain calm. Letting out my thoughts instead of letting them reak havoc in my mind. My thoughts fuck cancer (if my language offends my applogies but its how I feel) Its bad enough cancer took so much during that time spand of july 7th 2016 to may 5th 2017 but now at any moment something can trigger anxiety or fear. aches pains mild discomfort makes you wonder if its something serious. Im holding back tears as I talk to the
Nurse… I have to get a call back.
Couldnt hold them back and thats okay this pic is to show its okay to cry even in font of your child. I took a few seconds to explain to her what was going on (this happened over a span of time the documentation was edited as needed)
My hand is swollen and for some they may wonder why thats a big deal… When I had my breast removed I also has some lymphnodes removed. Our body has a lymphatic system I’ll talk more about that another time… But having a few removed disturbed the system. Are you thinking why did you have them removed? Well cancer is very invasive it not only invades your certain areas in your body it can affect your blood and for me the lymphatic system. The cancer (I never say my …Im not claiming cancer in a possessive manner. It’s not mine )the cancer was found in one of my lymph nodes and it was best to remove that one and the next few within the system. (Thanks to research they know it travels from one node to the next in a specific order). So removal was necessary but it comes with complications Lymphedema. Fluid can build in my arm and cause swelling.
Okay Im back she recommended taking off the compression sleeve for a few days to see if that allows the fluid to circulate better. If I loose feeling or rang of motion I need to go to the ER.
This is the part of the on going journey. The uncertainty of not knowing of being uncomfortable… This is why your tribe is important they will be there to support you. (I called my mom before writing this part ) they help reassure you.