I am not a fan of having my feelings hurt (who is right?) So I do my best to take responsibility for how I feel and take notice of how people contibute to how I feel. (They contribute by the influence I allow them to have over my feelings) someones anxious or angry energy can make me feel anxious too if I allow it or if I am unaware of the transference of energy to me….
I should re write that
I take notice of how people react respond or how their presence has an influence on me.
In taking responsibility I accept that when my feelings are hurt it is not the other persons fault it is my interpretation of what they did (this the same even if it is hurt love shame etc… )
I decide on a subconscious level that It hurt me.
For this situation in particular and others to be honest I think about why it hurt my feelings.
I make a request to 🐐can you help me with___?
🐐no I dont do that…
Me It will take less than 5min and would really help me.
I continue doing what I was doing thinking I’ll only be a few more minutes and then I can do what I asked help with….a few minutes go by and an accident happens (nothing major no need for details).
🐐 ends up helping just not in the manner asked above.
First emotion Im pissed😠
First thought if 🐐just helped when I asked this would not have happened
I placed blame real quick
anger is a secondary emotion normally comming from something else
I went and took care of what I asked for help with. While doing that I took responsibility for what happened and thought I should have stopped what I was doing and did what I asked 🐐help with instead of continuing what I was doing.
I also thought about why my request wasnt done and how I help🐐often.
My feelings were hurt. My thoughts it was a simple request nothing too big or too hard to do and 🐐was capable but just stood their ground with thier no
Entitlement creeps in at times if your not aware
I help because I like to I help because I care
I was hurt because I translated 🐐not helping to not caring
Got mad again in my head how the f this b gonna not help me after all I do when they need help…(entitled much??)
Second thought they dont owe me I may feel that they do but in all truth they dont specially If I helped because I wanted to or because I cared
I like to understand so I ask questions I do my best not assume I know why people do what they do
Went in to counselor mode… Why couldnt you do what I asked it wasnt a big task.
🐐not my responsibility
But I help with things thats not my responsibility sometimes
🐐😐😶 thats just how I am
That hurts cause I help u on major things that has nothing to do with me but okay.
My feelings were hurt because what I give far out ways what I receive. I would move a mountain and they woudnt push a chair out they way if went against what they felt like doing.
I admire the stregenth it takes to hold true to what you say or feel
I think its insensitive to not help when you can specially when said person is their for you often( still working on entitlement even on this small level)
I respect that they dont have to
My solution treat people accordingly
My feeings were hurt cause I do too much
Do less or do nothing to help because my feelings are tied to what I do and I do feel entitiled to some degree
This will be an interesting turn of events its in my nature to be helpful specially if I care about you. But I will see if doing less changes how I feel…..
Thanks for reading this long post
How do you take responsibility for your feelings actions … etc?